And so it begins...

Four nights ago I was so ready for travel. Then three nights ago I woke  up at three am thinking of all the stuff to do...then two nights ago I woke up thinking about all the reasons I didn't want to leave...and last night I lay awake imagining all the tragic consequences of flying across the world and leaving all of my family and friends behind.
John is envisioning the chai in Ganeshpuri and I'm remembering the dust. John is remembering the beautiful view from the Sea Shore Hotel in Mumbai and I'm remembering the four flights up the dark, dirty stairway.
Yes. I guess I'm ready, but this is part of the process...I suppose.
It aches to leave my sister behind who is facing surgery in a couple weeks. It aches to say goodbye to my daughter who is brave and strong and beautiful. It aches to leave friends and familiar faces for the unknown.
I truly aches to sit on an airplane for 22 hours, trusting in only the universe and good people.
I do know that I will adjust and the sights and sounds and SMELLS of India will slowly become part of the adventure, but right now I just feel acutely aware of what I'm leaving behind.
It does not ache to leave cold winter and dark days.
I will bring love with me and I will bring love home. That's one thing I can count on.