The Family Table

When I was younger, like 55, I used to think I could predict what an experience would be like. But travel has reminded me that I’m not even close to knowing what the next adventure brings. Now, I’m not talking about danger or high stakes stuff although I have been in the company of a wild bull elephant. (An old blog will tell you about it  ) I'm actually talking about those times when I feel a little bit uncomfortable; when I know I will have to interact with strangers beyond the basic social  courtesies..

Yep, I know you’re thinking, Marcia…that’s what travelling is all about. And I do know that…but…I still feel squeamish if I know I’m gonna be outside my typical comfort zone… So, the fact that our homestay had a family style eating arrangement and the fact that we were going to be up in the mountains of Kerala, without easy access to alternative meal settings. Well, it made me squeamish.

We arrived at Varnam Homestay in a taxi whose driver definitely got the short end of the stick. He must have asked directions ten times  before he found the little oasis tucked away down rugged dirt roads and surrounded by rubber tree plantations and random ramshackle and not so ramshackle homes. When we pulled into the driveway, we all (including the driver) breathed a sigh of relief.

Beena, our hostess, greeted us with a warm hello and welcomed us right up to that “family table”. Hmm, let the awkward conversation making begin.

Yes, there were a few awkward moments, but I was pleasantly surprised by how much travellers in the same place had to talk about. That family table was the highlight of this leg of our adventure. Our first night, the two German women (I’m terrible with names) convinced us that we would love the organic farm tour, and we did. John and I had walked around the farm earlier, and I was amazed at how many fruits, veggies and spices we didn’t recognize. My favorite was the cinnamon tree. Eating cinnamon bark off of a young branch of a cinnamon tree is soooo  much more delicious than any cinnamon you will ever eat. I saw pineapples that weren’t on the shelves of the produce lane at Hannafords. One pineapple has its very own plant. I ate green peppercorns off of the vine. Anyway. It was pretty cool.

Back to the family table. At dinner, we would all talk about what we did that day. As the stay progressed, we started to talk about ourselves and learn about each other. By the end of our stay, there were passionate, friendly conversations about living with disease, decisions about end of life, politics and…of course.. the dreaded conversation… who had seen an elephant and who had NOT!

There was a lot of strategizing as those who did tried to help those who did not to have the penultimate experience of what I assume must be everyone’s reason to go to India.
“We didn’t need to go on the safari tour…you can just see them on the side of the road.” And then, quietly, “we haven’t seen one yet. We’re just going on the tour. It increases our chances, right.”

I  the meantime we entertained ourselves with 10 km treks through villages where adorable  little children come running out to stare and dare to speak English. A typical conversation went  "Hello Madame. How are you?" I would respond and ask,and how are you. " I am fine thank you." Then we would stare at eaxh other, trying to make a deeper connection.

We also walked along a river, where a boy had recently been mauled by a tiger. We would swim in that river, with monkeys up in the trees, only to learn later from Hussein, who by the way told us about the tiger mauling, that there were crocodiles in that river (but it’s okay cause they are FRIENDLY)

And that “family table” was also where we heard the beautiful, haunting Malayalam song by our hosts, Beena and her husband (I’m terrible with names). That was also the family table where my new friends sang happy birthday to me and I made the same birthday wish I had made two years earlier, which was to see a DAMN elephant! We did “kinda” see some way far off in the distance amongst trees and rocks on the safari.

But my birthday wish must have been on Maine time, not India time, because, the next day, as we were leaving our homestay and the western ghats of India, my new Brazilian friend, Marcello, (I’m getting better with names) spotted a huge, bull elephant, with brilliant long white tusks on the side of the ROAD!